Species of Tube Traveller #11 - The Human Elbow

Thought to be more elbow than human, this specimen resides exclusively within the wretched confines of the train carriage, always seated as they cannot stand for long with the burden of abnormally huge elbows. The Human Elbow is never satisfied with the small space that they have, and resort to laying down their hulking bones on the armrest often encroaching at least 3 inches to each side much to the annoyance of their unfortunate neighbours.

The Human Elbow

It is unwise to engage The Human Elbow in any kind of elbow-based warfare as they will always win. Your only chance of success is to wait until they have to make the momentous effort to scratch their face or dig out their smartphone. It is during this small window that you can jam your woefully inadequate angle onto the rest and attempt to win back some of your rightful space. It is rare, but an awe-inspiring and terrifying scene when two Human Elbows end up sitting together; picture majestic and powerful Moose fighting with their antlers on discovery channel.

As always, the best offence is a good defence, so if you manage to get a seat next to one that is empty, protect yourself by using the armrest (whilst keeping to your side of course) and brace yourself when someone comes to sit.

Habitat – Train carriages, air planes, anywhere with an armrest.

Special Skills – Encroachment, elbow wars, space-occupation

Weaknesses – Other Human Elbows, acid