M-M-M-MEGA SNAIL

We all know about Snails. Not the slimy little buggers that carry their houses around and eat leaves, but the people on the London Underground who wear massive backpacks and refuse to take them off when in crowded trains. This morning I saw the biggest snail I had ever seen - the man had three backpacks on at the same time, increasing his body mass by approximately 440% and the annoyance levels of everyone around him by a staggering 1000%. If looks could kill, this man would be the grim reapers dream. For the first time, the caricature below is pretty much accurate.